⚠️ Content warning: This post mentions suicide.

Sure, I’d checked with Kieran if he was OK with that arrangement.

And as the new media manager of New Zealand Rugby League, it was my job to ensure players like Kieran were generating (good 🫰) headlines.

But giving Kieran’s number away sat uneasily with me, even if it was standard practice.

Kieran had agreed to a 20min interview.

Instead, I’d handed over a direct line to him - with no off switch. The reporter could call or text anytime, share the number with colleagues, or even pass it to a mate at the pub. I wouldn’t know.

In terms of the deal Kieran had agreed to with me, I’d let him down.
But that was the way things were done then.
And, mostly, still are.

When Kieran’s playing career finished earlier this month, he’d won an NRL premiership with Manly, played 300+ NRL games, and been capped 31 times for the Kiwis.

But behind the stats, he was also the guy who:

🔹 admits he reached far too readily, when younger, for the short-term escapes of gambling and booze
🔹 saw things unravel off-field and then tried to end his life when injuries meant he didn’t even have footy to fall back on
🔹 got life back on track and then lost his 20yo stepson by suicide

At his lowest point, Kieran's challenges included multiple journalists - unaware of the full situation - having a direct line to him.

He said he was “incredibly disappointed in the media prying into my personal life.”

People like me had only turned the screws tighter.

But there is some good to come out of this.

With such a breadth of life experiences to call on, Kieran (now 35) is stepping up to lessen the chances of other families facing what he and his wife Karina have gone through. He’s using his profile to talk openly about mental health challenges and support others. You get the feeling his most important work is ahead of him.

I didn’t turn a blind eye to my experiences either.

That single media request to speak with Kieran has since rippled across global sport.

Having seen first-hand the downsides of the outdated playbook sport was running, a group of us in New Zealand got together to build the world’s first high-performance media management system.

We wanted athletes to be able to safely speak through their mobile phones with the media, with no personal contact details exchanged, and with calls recorded for everyone’s peace of mind.

'Blinder' is now used by multiple World and Olympic champion teams, icons of sport like the All Blacks and US Women’s Soccer, clubs from the AFL to the NFL, and some of the biggest colleges in America.

I’m exceptionally proud of Kieran for turning his life around.

And I'm just as proud of the Blinder team - because when sport needed change, we didn’t look away.

The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.